Saturday, 12 October 2013

Tell Me ?

You think I do not care,
you think I am just another guy,
you think I am just interested in taking you to bed,
you think that I am just like any other guy,
who would lie and break your heart,
would just sleep with you and disappear next morning.
But look deep inside my heart,
look into my eyes and see what you mean to me,
your silence kills me,  
your tears drive me mad,
trust is the hardest part I know,
not a single days goes by when you are not on my mind,
or a moment when I long for you.
Keep me inside your heart as it is where I belong,
keep me hidden in your arms as it where I belong,
kiss my tears away when I cry,
hug me when I am down and say everything is all right,
I am tired of being strong,
I am tired of running,
I want to break down in your arms,
I want to sleep like a child in your arms,
hidden from the world,this where I feel I belong.
Tell me  would you love me this much ?
when I love you more than life,
tell me would you hold my hand ?
When I  walk down this path of life,
tell me would come to me when I call for you ?
as I would come when you call for me,
tell me would you forgive me ? 
when I hurt you by mistake,
as I would when you hurt me,
tell me would fight for me ? 
as I am fighting for you,
as you are the only thing I have in this world.

Thursday, 26 September 2013

Ray Of Hope

I have fallen weak what once used to be power is now my poison 
I fight each day to keep my fear at bay,
Each day I look for someone to share my life with,
To open my heart to someone to let this poison out for once and for all,

I search for someone with whom i would have no secrets to hide,
Someone to understand me,
Someone to heal me,
I hide my pains behind a fake smile
Somewhere in the deep and dark recess of mind I cry,
Like a child sitting alone in a dark corner with his head buried in his knees.

I send out this message out in the universe tonight to that someone,
do not make me wait any longer come to me now,
as you are my only hope now,
come and see me now see how I am without you,
If what I had read is true then with all my heart I call out to you,
I believe tonight that I would meet you.

As yang is incomplete without yin,
As I am incomplete without you now,
I am human turned into a beast,
with his life trapped into that red flower,
whose petal slowly wither down,
now only the kiss of true love can turn this monster in human,
and lift this curse with which I have lived so long,
Come to me now and let me give myself to you now.

Friday, 6 September 2013

When I Have Friends Like You Who Needs Enemies.

David And Gina were sitting in the restaurant and were having dinner. This was their first date though they had known each other for little more than over a year as they were in the same class and knew each other by name. David had a crush on Gina from the day one of the college, but was too shy to ask her out. He was a decent looking tall, mischievous blue eyes which coupled with his smile made him a quite an attractive guy. He was unknown to the fact that as to what kind of effect he had on girls as most of the time lost in his own thoughts and in his own world.

To impress Gina, David had gone extra mile in arranging the date. David's school friend Thomas whom he had tutored in Maths and helped him pass the exams worked as the host  in the famous  The Grill restaurant of Ritz Carlton hotel in Los Angeles, which was frequented by many famous movies stars and directors. Thomas had been able to arrange a pool side table for two of them which was very hard to come by as the reservations in this particular restaurant had a three month waiting list.  Thomas for David had also procured a bottle of 79'  Bourdeux wine from the wine cellar of the hotel.

"Well, David I must say that I am fairly impressed by the way in which you have arranged this date. This by far the best date I have ever been on.", Gina said to David leaning in. A mischievous smile crept across her face as she asked David is he planning to get into her pants by taking her on such a nice date and by behaving in such a gentlemanly manner. 

For moment David was shocked and did not knew how to reply. Gina almost laughed when she saw the expression of incredulity on his face. But David was not one be outsmarted so soon," Well Gina, for that to happen you should have come wearing jeans and not in that beautiful green dress.", David replied grinning. Gina burst out laughing on his quick witty reply and all she could say was tocuhe.

After they were finished with their dinner, David asked for the cheque and they left the restaurant and started walking towards the Venice beach which was just a short walk from Ritz Carlton hotel. The weather that evening was extremely pleasant , a gentle breeze was flowing through the surroundings and the moon was also out in its full bloom. 

As David and Gina started walking towards the Venice beach, David tried to hold her hands. At first Gina smiled from inside at David's sheepish attempts to hold her hand while walking but ultimately she relented and allowed him to hold her hand as they walked towards the Venice beach.

"Gina, can I confess something to you.", David said to Gina looking straight in her green Emerald eyes. For a moment Gina was taken aback by the seriousness in David's  as they were having a good time, nonetheless she asked David what he wanted to say. 

"Well, Gina I have a had a crush on you from first day college.",  David confessed to Gina.

"Well so why did you not do anything about it in the beginning only." Gina asked David.

"Well, I did not knew whether you would have liked it or not. I was not sure whether you have accepted it or not. So I decided to let you get to know me before I asked you out." David replied.

"Well, Mr. slowpoke", Gina said taunting David," I would have said yes because I had also wanted you to ask me out. Why do you think I asked professor Cooper to assign you as my partner for the corporate study report."

By now they had reached Venice beach. Very few people were there at the moment and the environment was very calm, the only noise that broke the silence was that of the sea waves breaking on the shore. 

When David heard her admission he was really surprised, he did not knew that what he is going to do now.

"Well here is another surprise for you, I wrote a poem about you. I want to tell you the poem right now but you must promise that you would not laugh." 

Gina promised that she would not laugh, just to see what kind of poem he had written because she knew if she laughed then he would feel bad. For the first time she saw him as a child who might had a body of a grown up but heart of a six year old.

"When I first saw walk through that door,
 with the most beautiful smile I had ever seen,
  you took my heart in an instant.
  My heart no longer belongs to me,
  but to you,
  take care of this heart as it is all,
  I have in this world right now."

When David finished reciting his poem, Gina was completely taken aback as she always had pictured David as a guy whose world started with books and ended with his books. She had never seen him outside the class or the library or even at a dorm party. Tonight she was getting to see that side of David which she never knew about could have existed.

A part of her wished that David would kiss her right now, but she knew by now that David was too shy or unsure to do that. So before David could realize what was going on, she pulled him closer and kissed him. For a minute David was completely taken aback. He did not knew  how to respond but finally he gave in.

"Do you want to go back to my place ?" David asked Gina and to his surprise Gina said yes.

They quickly hailed a cab and got in an left. While travelling in the cab David took out his phone and messaged his room mate Freddy who was his classmate to make himself scarce for few hours as he was coming back with Gina.

As Gina and David were going back to his flat. Freddy at that moment was busy making himself a bowl of pasta as he was famished after coming back from his part time job at ' The Lagoon' which was a popular hangout for students who studied in UCLA. Freddy in true sense was a mischief maker he had to his record many achievements in this area including bombing the his old alma mater washroom with stink bombs and toilet papering school principal's car.

When he got David's message the wheels in his head started turning and light bulb suddenly went on in head. He quickly got on the computer, went on the google image and finally found a picture which he was looking for, a picture of famous celebrity he had seen few days back in a magazine. He quickly printed out nearly five dozen copies of that picture, grabbed a bottle of glue and went in David's room where he set about pasting every inch of David's room with the pictures. 

By the time Freddy was done there was not a even a single inch of space left on the walls of David's room. For minute Freddy stood there taking in his handiwork and smiling from inside, satisfied with his work he exited the room and quickly left after switching off the lights and locking the door.

The cab dropped David and Gina at the front door of David's building where he escorted her to his flat which was on the first floor. He quickly unlocked the door and ushered Gina in. Gina asked him doe she have a bottle of wine handy to which David said that he has one which was given to him on his birthday by his cousin. She said to him that why he does not open the bottle and while she comes back from the bathroom. David told her to use the bathroom in his room while he goes and opens the wine.

Gina smiled an winked at David and started towards David's room. As Gina turned on the lights of David's room she was taken aback from what she saw.

"Um, David could you come in here for a moment ?" Gina said shouting from his room. 

David was in the kitchen when Gina called him to come in his room. Thinking what it might be he quickly grabbed the bottle of wine along with two glasses and made a beeline for his room. As soon as he entered his room he was taken aback from what he saw. Every inch of wall in his room was plastered with poster of Justin Bieber and not just any poster of him but in this particular picture he was naked and holding a guitar to hide his modesty and Gina was standing right smack in middle of his room looking at him.

"Well, David is there anything you want to tell me ?" Gina asked while looking straight in his eyes which kind of unnerved him.

" Gina, I do not know about this I did not put up these pictures." David said protesting his innocence.

"Um, yeah right but what about the picture on the roof of your room ?" Gina pointed towards a picture which was pasted on the roof just above his bed.

That picture really made David's jaw drop. He was shell shocked that as to what the hell was going on. No matter what explanation or reason came to his mind he was finding it difficult to explain this to Gina and he stood there just looking at her.

" Well, I had thought you were a nice guy. You should have told me that you were gay and not try to impress me." Gina said which completely shocked David now. If before he was at loss of words now he was staring at her like a fool.

"Gina, trust me I am not gay.", David protested his innocence but he failed to convince her as Gina walked right past him into the living room where she started gathering her purse and other belongings.

David tried to stop Gina from leaving requesting her to give her a chance to explain it to her. But Gina seeing no explanation forthcoming left his apartment saying that all of a sudden she is not feeling well and that she would call him tomorrow. David stood holding the bottle of wine and two glasses in his hand wondering as to how the hell his room got plastered with Justin Bieber's picture as Gina left his apartment.

As David was left standing in the middle of his apartment's living room scratching his head, Freddy at the moment was sitting in the bar where he worked drinking beer waiting for a call. He was just trying to imagine what would be the outcome of thing which he had done when he heard his phone buzz. He checked his phone and saw that there was a new message which only said one thing it is done. A smile crossed his face 

Tuesday, 20 August 2013

The Letter

It was raining outside the window as the 12:30 train from Boston to Washington rattled on  the tracks. The train had left Boston at 12:30 that afternoon and by now it had passed the beautiful town of little Wyoming which was nearly halfway from both Boston and Washington. Bruce was sitting in his cabin in the fourth coach from the end of the train and was looking out of window. He had decided to travel by train instead of taking a flight to Washington because he wanted to think. Just the day before his father's attorney and long time friend Samuel Wilcox had called him and told him that his father had passed away in his sleep and that he needs to come down Washington for the settlement of his father's estate as he was the only surviving member now of his family as his mother had died during a car accident when he was four years old.

The only thing that was going through his Bruce's mind right was the fight he had with his father eight years back. During that time Bruce was college senior at Harvard Law and it was sure that he would graduate Suma cum laude from Harvard Law School. He also had a job offer from Williams & Williams, Boston which was one the biggest and most reputed law firm in the country. 

During his college break when he was visiting his father Leonard Pratt who was the founder of Wilcox & Pratt law firm in Washington. His father had wanted him to join his law firm as he wanted Bruce to succeed him as the chief managing partner of his firm but Bruce wanted to do something else. When he had come home he had hoped that his father would be proud of him on getting a job offer from Williams & Williams as it was a dream job for any Harvard law graduate and he also wanted to succeed through his own hard work rather than using the influence and name of his father to succeed which was one the reasons he had changed his last name from Pratt to Bruce Levinstein which was his mother's maiden name. 

When Bruce had told his father him getting a job in Williams & Williams his father instead of being happy, hit the roof. He greatly despised Williams & Williams because of its managing partner Bill Carnegie. The bad blood between Bill Carnegie and Leonard Pratt was legendary in the legal community of USA. His father had told him not to join and had offered him a better position and bigger paycheck but was not willing to allow Bruce to join his arch rival's firm. Bruce had tried to make him understand that for entire life he had lived in his father's shadow but now he wanted to make a name for himself without his father's help. Day after day the argument between the father and son got so bad Bruce ultimately left the house and told his father never to contact him again as he did not understood his dreams. That was the last time he ever spoke or looked at his father.

The train finally pulled into Union Station. Bruce quickly grabbed his bag and exited the railway station. It was raining very hard when Bruce got out of the station. He pulled out his umbrella, unfurled and started looking for a cab which would take him 50, Pennsylvania avenue to his father's old office. Due to heavy rain it was every single taxi cab was full and he had also not informed Samuel that he would coming in today so they had also not sent a car to pick him up from the station.

By the time , time he got a cab and reached his father's old office it was five. He was quickly ushered in the office of Samuel Wilcox who after the death of his father was the new managing partner of Wilcox & Pratt.

"Bruce, What are you doing here ? I thought you would inform me before coming down. You should had told me to that you would be coming in today, the  I would had asked Hiram to pick you up. Are you doing ok ?", Samuel asked Bruce referring to his father's death.

Bruce noticed that even though eight years had passed Samuel had not changed a bit, he still had his gentle affectionate smile and even though he had crossed sixty but still looked very young.

" No it is ok Sam. I came by train plus I needed sometime to think after I got your call informing me that dad had passed away.", Bruce answered

"Well it is good that you are here now. Do you want to go out for lunch and then I will drop you off at your house. I know that Anna is dying to see you, after all she looked after you after your mother passed away and then tomorrow we can discuss the will of your father." 

"I am sorry Sam, I do not have enough time. I need to return to Boston today so can we get over with formalities today.", Bruce told Samuel.

For a minute Samuel was shocked at the indifference of Bruce towards his father's death as the Bruce he had known eight years ago adored his father but he told her secretary to get George Pratt's file.

Samuel's secretary came back with a white folder on which the name George Pratt was written quite clearly, handed him the file and left Bruce and Samuel alone in Samuel's office.

"Well, Bruce, your father had a substantial estate at the time he died. He also left his partnership here at this firm to you with the hope that you would come and step in his shoes and god knows we do need a Pratt to handle things here at the office.", Samuel told Bruce opening the file.

Samuel started giving the highlights of his father's will to Bruce in which George Pratt had left his mansion Chevy Chase Village, his wealth which was fairly north of fifty million dollars and his investments to Bruce. Plus, in his will he had left a small bequeath for Anna who had been a pseudo mom to Bruce since his had passed away. In his will he had also left a small bequeath to Hiram who had been a loyal driver and companion to Bruce's father for thirty years.

"And here is the last thing which your father gave me to give to you and the reason I wanted you to come down to Washington.",
Samuel said taking out a white envelope from the file.

"This letter was given to me by your father and I was told to give you the letter when he died along with his last will and testament.", Samuel told Bruce.

Bruce sat in front of Samuel while he read his late father's will silently and when Samuel took out the letter he took it without saying any other word from Samuel. After Samuel had finished reading his father's will and had given him the letter, Bruce asked Samuel to give him the will so that he can go through it and then decide what was to be done with his father's estate.

After everything was done Bruce said goodbye to Samuel and left for station. Samuel had wanted to come along to see him off but Bruce declined his offer politely and told him that right now he wanted to be alone he needed some time to think. 

While sitting in the taxi cab he took his father's will and gave it a cursory reading and saw that his father had also give him huge amounts to the American legal society for starting a scholarship in his mother's name and had also given endowed huge amounts to some other charities dedicated to the cause which was very close to the close to her mother's heart when she was alive.

Taxi cab dropped Bruce at the union station from where he caught the last train back to Boston. It was already eleven by the time train pulled out of station and started with its journey back to Boston. Bruce was not all feeling sleepy despite of lateness of the hour. He held the letter in his hand but could not muster up the strength to open and read it. He knew whatever is contained in the letter would change his life forever. So after lot of deliberation and mustering enough courage he tore open the envelope.

The first thing that dropped out of the envelope was a picture of him, his father and mother on his third birthday where they looked like an extremely happy family and not knowing that very soon this world of theirs was going to be ripped apart. Bruce looked at the picture for some time and then put it aside and took out his father's last letter and started reading it.

                                                                             18th August, 2005

Dear Bruce,
                  By the time you would open and read this letter I would be dead and long gone. During the last eight years in which we never spoke there were many things that I wanted to tell you but knowing that you did not wanted to have any communication with me I respected that and that is why I am writing this letter to you.

Bruce, I grew with nothing and had to work hard to reach this point in my life. Since, the day I turned 12 my life had been a constant struggle for me. your grandmother was an alcoholic and was in no way fit to take care of me. I had to step up during those times looking after your grandmother and myself. When other children were playing and having fun I was busy working with only one thing in my mind that I have to improve our situation. Even though your grandmother failed as in her duty towards me I still wanted to take care of her. She seeing my struggle and unhappiness did become sober but when I was fifteen she also died leaving me alone. Your grandfather had also walked out on me and your grandmother. I was put in foster care and that is where I met your mother. I was indeed lucky to have met your mother and win her love because the love which I had been searching for all my life I found in her. 

When I met your mother I changed almost over night. I forgot all that happened to me in my past and she encouraged me to make something of myself. I started working hard so that I can provide her with the life she deserved and beyond. Your mother helped in putting myself through college. I still remember that day when I graduated to Harvard with your mother's face beaming with pride in the crowd. In that crowd among all the other girls who were present your mother was the beautiful girl. On the day of my graduated from Harvard your mother and I got married in the city hall. I already had a job offer from Brandt & Russell and was starting to make money which allowed me to give your mother a comfortable life which she deserved after all the struggle which she had seen with me.
I still remember the smile on her face when we bought our first house. It was the smile which I had not seen on her face after my graduation. 

After four years you were born which was the best gift your mother gave me besides herself in this world. When you came into my life you completed it because till that point I had always felt that there was a piece of my life which was missing. After your birth I got a second chance at my childhood which I had lost and my life was complete. Tragedy struck again when your mother died in the car accident and left us alone. In that moment my world collapsed but I still had you, a piece of your mother alive and breathing. I could not have been more proud of you the way you grew up and became a man of which your mother would have been proud of. You are a living a tribute to your mother and there is nothing in this world I could have asked for more from you.

After your mother died I threw myself at my work with only one thing in my mind to give you the childhood which you deserved, a childhood which I never had. The fact that you were still young and needed my time and care as I was all that you had left in this world after your mother passed away. Today as I am writing this letter to you I regret all those times when you had come and wanted to speak to me but I did not speak with you as I was busy. Because of this drifted apart slowly and slow.

When you were young, you used to go to sleep before I could even back from the office. I still remember like it was yesterday when I watched you sleep holding your favourite Yogi Bear. There used to be a sweet smile on your face when you used to sleep. I would come and kiss you on forehead before I went to have dinner. I never used to wake you up because I felt that perhaps in your dreams you might be with your mother. 

By the time I realized that we have drifted apart it was already too late. And then the day came when you and I had a fight over you joining Williams & Williams. I now realize that it was pride which was not allowing me to let you join that firm and I paid a great price for it. The reason because of which I did not wanted you to join Williams & Williams was that I wanted to give the platform for you to launch yourself and also because I thought it would allow us to come closer since you and I would have been working side by side. I know I should have let you join Williams & Williams today before letting the most precious thing in my life walk out of the front door. 

I kept myself informed of your achievements and today when I see you all grown and working, all I can say that I see more your mother in you than me. She had the same determination and drive that you have. I should have stopped you from leaving and let you do what you had wanted. I had lived my life on my own terms but to some extent I wanted you to live your life on my terms and I am sorry for that.

Bruce, I hope after reading this letter you would forgive your old man. You are the most important thing in my life other than your mother. I wish I had reached out to you and made amends but I did not. All I want from you now is to live your life on the way you have lived till now and never be afraid of any failures because both me and your mother would be there to help you whenever you need us.


After Bruce finished reading the letter from his dad, he folded it and put it back in the envelope. He felt a tiny tear starting to roll down his cheeks. He could not control it any longer and for the first time in years he cried like a little.

"I am sorry too dad, I should had forgiven you much earlier while you were still alive.", Bruce said to himself crying as the train rolled on in the night towards Boston.