Yes Mam

1

Yes MamEdit

Ishu Parashar

In this great nation of ours there lies a state in Eastern part of India. This state at the time of its peak had produced many famous literary figures and freedom fighters. Just after the independence of India this particular state was counted among the most developed and the best governed state in India. But as the times changed so did the fortune of this particular state also declined and these days it is absolutely in despair even when a woman who right  now is the chief minister of this state came into power by promising better governance and development.

On this one particular day Madam Chief Minister was sitting in her office going through the development report on her state which had been prepared by the Planning Commission Of India and it was giving her a serious headache. The report painted a very unflattering picture of her state. She knew that tomorrow's newspapers would be full of articles which would be critical to her government, the heads would certainly roll in the coming days but whose heads would be those was yet to be decided. She was wearing her a trademark white saree over a white blouse with her hair tied her behind in a tight bun. At the first glance she would not have struck as a chief executive of a state but would have rather appeared to be a sad, little widow. 

As she was going through the Planning Commission's report when her faithful secretary Debprotim Roy who had been with her for nearly two decades entered the room looking very frantic and worried and immediately rushed towards her.

Looking up from the report," What is wrong Debprotim ? Why are you so worried ?", she asked him.

"Madam, chief minister have you seen this ?", Debprotim handed her the newspaper. The paper was open third page and a huge cartoon of the Chief Minister dominated the a good portion of the page. When she saw this her blood started to boil. Her faithful secretary had never seen his boss so angry so much so that the smoke was literally was coming out of her ears and her nostrils were flaring. In rage she tore the paper in half and threw it at her secretary's face, Debprotim ducked in time otherwise it was headed right for his like a tomahawk cruise missile.

She got up and started pacing  her office like a caged lioness. All the time talking to herself in an angry voice which was filled with contempt and rage.

"How dare this idiot make such an inflammatory cartoon about me ? I will have him arrested or no better yet I would have him fried in hot oil just like devil does in the hell. No that is also not good I should have him castrated or better option I would have have his freaking hands cut"

"But Mam, all these options which you are saying would it not be a  little bit extreme ? After all we live in a democracy", Debprotim pointed out to her boss. She turned towards him and looked at him in such a manner that it looked like she would kill him with her eyes only. At this moment she appeared not less than goddess Kali. 

" Do not tell me what would not be a good option. Do you understand or would like to be fired from your job. Get me the name of this cartoonist, find out where he lives and I want this information on my table in next ten minutes.", Chief Minister ordered her secretary, who took off from her office running like  a scared rabbit scampering towards the safety of his hole. At this moment all Debprotim wanted to do was to avoid his boss.

After ten minutes Debprotim came back with the information. The cartoonist who made this cartoon his name was Vishwas Chatterjee, he worked for the ' The Telegraph' newspaper and he lived in the salt lake. Hearing this she ordered her secretary to get the station in-charge of the Salt Lake police station on phone.

Inspector Ravi Ganguly was sitting in his office drinking tea and was chewing on some Marigold biscuits. It was a slow day for him as till now no one had come to register any complaints. He was relishing the fact that at the end of the day he would finally get some much needed alone time with his wife, whom he had not seen in three days because of the municipal elections. He was sure that he had done an  excellent job and was promised a promotion to the post of superintendent of police for the excellent job he did during elections. 

As he was day dreaming when suddenly his day dreaming came to an end due to his desk phone ringing which completely pissed him off as he did not like anyone to disturb him while he was daydreaming. 

"Hello, Inspector Ravi Ganguly speaking. Who is this ?", Inspector Ganguly said in an irritated voice over the phone.

"Inspector Ganguly, is this the way you talk with your boss ? This Chief Minister speaking." on hearing the voice of the super boss herself on the phone Inspector Ganguly nearly felt out of chair and Chief Minister's voice did not had a happy tone. For a moment he wondered that what he has done because of which the Chief Minister of the state is calling and how this is going to get his ass handed to him on a platter.

"No mam, sorry mam tell me how this measly inspector can be of service to you ?", Inspector Ganguly said stammering.

"Inspector Ganguly,have you seen today's paper and my cartoon in it ?", asked the Chief Minister. Inspector Ganguly said yes he had seen it and said to her that it was very degrading trying to smooth over the ruffled feathers of the most powerful woman in the state. 

"Well, since you have seen it and agree that it is very degarding. I want you to arrest this cartoonist and throw him in the jail.",

"But madam how can I arrest him without with any complaint or FIR being filed it would be illegal.", Inspector Ganguly protested. But the Chief Minister was not ready to listen to anything as she was beyond herself. Every single argument fell on the deaf ears.

"Inspector Ganguly, how dare you question me ? If you do not arrest him right now then I would have you transferred to Dinapur where you yourself there are more mosquitoes than human and I would make sure that so many mosquitoes bite you that you would die of mosquito bites. You can lodge a complaint or a FIR immediately and send it to my regional party office but have him arrested. Do I make myself clear ?"

Inspector Ganguly was now sweating through the collar of his shirt. He knew that if he did not do as he was being told then she would had him boiled in the hot oil or if the the media got a wind of this then his neck would already be in the line of fire. He right felt like a man trapped between a well and ditch with no way out.

He quickly put down the phone and ordered constables to come with him to arrest Vishwas Chatterjee. When they reached his home at that time Vishwas was sitting on verandah of his house drinking tea. When he saw police officers coming towards for a moment he thought what is going on until Inspector Ganguly started speaking .

"Mr. Chatterjee you are under arrest for publishing defamatory content about the Chief Minister of the state."

For moment Vishwas sat dumbfounded thinking how in the world was his cartoon defamatory and derogatory.  His was literally  afraid and was now kicking himself for making that cartoon.

"Can I at least call my lawyer before I am escorted to the police station by you and put in jail." Vishwas Chatterjee asked Inspector Ganguly.

Inspector Ganguly knew if he allowed him to call his lawyer then he would not be able to arrest him as he did not had a valid warrant. He also knew that if he did arrest Vishwas Chatterjee right now then on the other side of town a very angry Chief Minister of state whom everyone 'Didi' fondly would have his hide for lunch and that too without any spice and salt. He knew he cannot allow the cartoonist to do that.

"I am sorry Mr. Chatterjee I cannot let you do that. I have strict orders to arrest you and escort you to the police station." said Inspector Ganguly.

Vishwas started protesting," But officer this is simply wrong, I have a right to call my lawyer."

Vishwas' protest fell on dead ears as he was handcuffed and put in the police cruiser and was fleeted off to the  police station. Vishwas did not got to call his lawyer before next day. For one entire he had to spend a night in the jail along with scum of the city and till date he is still fighting a court case in which he was charged with defamation and inciting the violence in the city. He ultimately lost the appeal after six months and had to spend one year in jail.

When Vishwas got out of the there was not a single paper in the town who wanted to employ him lest they ended up earning the wrath of the CM of the state. What happened to freedom of speech, what happened to the freedom of press no one asked these questions. In our country these things are flushed down the toilet by the very leaders who have taken an oath to prevent these very things which have been enshrined in the Constitution of India. Sometime ago the then President of United States George Walker Bush said that a democracy in which a person can poke fun at its leaders without the fear any reprisals is a healthy democracy, is a good democracy. It saddens me to see that for our leaders these things just words written in a book and nothing more than that.

What Love Can Make Us Do.

It was Wednesday and Anjali and Ritu were hanging out in the terrace and sharing acigarette hidden from the eyes of Ritu's grandfather who at that time was away from the house running some errand while Ritu's grandmother had gone to nearby house to meet her friend and exchange the usual gossip. Now Ritu at that time was staying in Mumbai with her parents and was doing B. Com from the St.Xavier's college in Mumbai and was in Surat for her college vacations. Anjali had met Ritu in School in 8th grade when both of them were in the same section and during this time Ritu's father was posted in Surat as the manager in Tata chemicals. Ritu left Surat after doing her 12th from the same school,as her father had been promoted to vice-president of operations and was transferred to Mumbai. Whenever Anjali and Ritu got together they did all sorts of things getting drunk, smoking cigarettes and while walking on the road discussing that which guy would be better for Ritu and which guy would be suitable for Anjali. As they were on the terrace smoking all of a sudden they heard the door bell ring which them a quite a start. They quickly put out the cigarette and frantically looked for the bottle of mouth freshener as they thought that Ritu's grandfather or grandmother had came back and if they had caught them smoking then there would have been hell lot to pay. 

Well, they quickly got done and went downstairs and opened the door and there was the cutest guy they had ever seen in their life with a cylinder of gas, wearing the blue and red uniform of with a logo Indane on his shirt pocket. He had the most innocent face and charming smile we had ever seen. Both Ritu and Anjali just stood there transfixed staring at this guy like a statue just looking at him. That guy just smiled at them and said, “Well, if you lovely ladies are done checking me out then can I come and put this gas cylinder down? It is very heavy and my shoulders are hurting." It got them out of our trance and they let him. They told him that they did not know how to attach a cylinder to the stove so he would have to do it. While he went inside the kitchen and was doing his work an argument started between Anjali and Ritu that who would be the one to get his number but they were not able to decide, so they decided that they would let him choose between the two of them. Well after he was done hooking up the gas cylinder to the stove he came out of kitchen. At this moment Ritu did something unexpected," Hey, I know you must be tired from carrying all that weight on your shoulder in this heat so would like to have some cold drink?" Ritu asked him. Well at first he said that he cannot as he was on duty and needs to go but Ritu was a master in the art of persuasion. She with a flirtatious smile on her face said to him would he not even stop and have a glass of cold drink with her even when a beautiful girl like Ritu asked him. Anjali knew at that point she had lost him to Ritu because she had one of those smile that would drive any guy crazy and would make him do anything for her.

He hesitated in the beginning but her smile melted his heart and he agreed to stay back. So Anjali went inside the kitchen fuming from inside and left Ritu and that guy alone and came back with three glasses of cold Pepsi and sat with them. He told us that his name was Ravi and he was studying under IGNOU doing bachelors in Economics and that being a gas delivery boy was his job which he did to support his education. It was soon visible that by now Ravi was enchanted with Ritu by now and more I spent the time with them the more I felt like a third wheel. So I got and went into the kitchen with my Pepsi and sat there on the kitchen dining table drinking my Pepsi alone. From the snippets of conversation that I could catch I was able to make out that they were flirting with each other outrageously. Well after from what I thought was considerable amount of time Ritu finally came in the kitchen. There were a dreamy expression on her face and a stupid grin on her face," So how did it go?”AnjaiI asked Ritu. “Anjali, Anjali you would not believe the kind of guy he is? So charming, so gentle and he also told me a poem Page on Too was so beautiful." At that point Anjali knew that there was no use talking to this girl so the only thing that AnjaliI asked that was she seeing him again to which she answered in affirmative that tomorrow she is meeting him for lunch, movies and walk in the park and then she went on and on about Ravi till the point Anjali was ready to chuck the glass of Pepsi at her.

Next day in the evening as Anjali was at home sitting in her room when suddenly Ritu barged in, ran towards Anjali and gave her a hug. From this Anjali could make out her date with Ravi went pretty Page on Wellshe asked her to give her all the juicy details. She started by telling that they gone for the Ranjanna movie where Ritu had insisted to pay for her own ticket since she knew Ravi did not earn that much that she would pay for her own ticket but Ravi did not let her and paid for her ticket and for the snacks. After the movies she told Anjali that they went Filet O Fish restaurant which on hearing Anjali was quite surprised as it was really one the expensive restaurants in town. So Anjali asked her that how come Ravi could afford taking her there, in reply to Anjali's question Ritu told her that he had also been saving some money for sometime so it was really no big deal. The last part which she told me that it really surprised Anjali was that after lunch they went to the park and that she kissed him and he was really surprised, " Ritu, you stupid girl.", Anjali shouted at her. “How can you do this ? Remember Sushant and after your break up with him you promised to take it slow with the other guy and now please do not tell me that you have already slept with him." At this point all could Ritu say was that how nice he was, how gentle and he was definitely not like Sushant who cheated on her even when they had been together for two years. At least she convinced Anjali that she had only kissed him and had not gotten physical with him, which was a great relief for her as she did not wanted to see her best friend get hurt.

So for the entire two months for which Ritu was in town, she went on a numerous date with Ravi and after their fifth date Ritu told Anjali that they had slept together which was the last straw for Anjali," Ritu I am warning you as a friend you are going to regret it in future." But Ritu was in the cloud number nine. She felt that nothing could wrong and that Ravi was her Knight in the shining armour. It was a feeling when you get when you had just fallen in love with someone. Anjali knew that her friend's this new relationship is headed for disaster. Soon the day for Ritu to leave for Mumbai was fast approaching and both Ritu and Ravi were visibly upset as they would no longer get to see each other. So they decided that whenever possible Ravi would come to Mumbai to meet Ritu and that she would pay for Ravi's lodging since he did not earn that much and for Ritu it was easy since she had a sizable allowance
 
It had been two months since Ritu had went back to Mumbai to her home but during these two months they remained in contact. They talked to each other twice in a day on phone and sometimes even late in the night. They also maintained contact through watsapp. Every week Ritu told Anjali that how Ravi was making her happy and that he had even come to Mumbai twice in last two months and how they had a wonderful time visiting Marine Drive and beaches all across the Mumbai.
 
Then one day everything changed. That day Ravi was walking across MM Bridge which had been constructed over the Tapi River when Ritu called him." Hey, baby how are you? What are you doing?" in reply to which Ravi told her that he was walking on the MM Bridge and was going to a friend's house in Athwalines. Little did Ritu know that the next thing which she was going to say would change her life forever," Listen Ravi, if you truly love me then at this moment you would jump from the bridge and into Tapi River". Ritu said jokingly to him. Ravi did not knew whether she was serious or joking but he knew that he loved her dearly so he disconnected her call, put his mobile on the railing of the bridge and jumped down in the raging river towards his death. The other people saw him jumping they quickly rushed over to the side of bridge. Someone had already called 101 and police also arrived within few minutes. They quickly pulled the crowd away and put up the barricades. They also saw Ravi's phone which was just sitting there innocently on the railing of the bridge. They picked up the phone and dialled Ritu's number which was the last number from he had received the call. Ritu answered the call and said in the phone," I knew it you did not love me, you are a big chicken." until officer on the other side replied, “May I know who is this as whoever phone is this he just jumped from the bridge into river." The officer kept on asking on the phone that who was it but there was nothing but silence on the other end.

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned

Well it is said the and I quote " Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned " and who would know it better than me who got punched in the face not once but twice for playing pranks on her which got her angry to such an extent that she refused to talk to me. Now I met Michelle at a friend's party when I saw her standing on the terrace in that green dress sipping margaritas just took my heart away and I knew that I was in love well I approached her and asked her for a dance and to my surprise she said yes well we danced and after a few cups of coffee and couple of dinners later on it was official that we were in a relationship. 
 
It was our one year anniversary and when I met her that day I pretended that I have forgotten our anniversary she kept on dropping hints but I pretended not to understand them well that got her pretty mad and she went home but I had a surprise planned for her. In the evening I drove to her home with a necklace which I had bought for her and when I gave it to her she smiled gave me kiss and we went for a dinner unbeknownst to her that this evening was going to that evening of her life which she would never forget for as long as she lived. We reached the restaurant and ordered champagne while we were sipping champagne I put on a very serious face . Seeing my serious face Michelle asks me " Ishu, what is wrong ?". I then leaned over pretending that I am going to kiss her when I tell her that I have something to tell you which I have never told anyone at this she the worry lines were quite visible on her face and I had to keep myself from laughing now I lean over I and whisper in her ear that I am secretly gay. When she heard the word gay at that point only I can see the look of horror on her face as she sat there dumbfounded. She said to me ,"Ishu, please tell me you are joking because I refuse to believe this you cannot be gay." I could see the tears roll down her eyes as she said this to which I said with a poker face, " I am sorry Michelle but what I am telling you is truth." after which she  got up very quickly and walked away and I just sat there sipping and savoring my glass of champagne smiling from inside thinking about the next day.
 
Well next day I went to her house again with an Oxford English dictionary as i rang her doorbell she opened her door and her eyes were red I guess she had been crying all night long I asked her to give me chance to explain myself to her and she gave me five minutes so I told her the actual meaning of gay is not homosexual but gay also means a  cheerful happy person but she refused to believe it so I showed her the dictionary and when she saw the meaning she got up from the couch so fast and punched me in the face that I rolled over with blood coming out of my nose I was in pain and then she tells me that she is breaking up I begged her not to do this to me but I guess I deserved. She then turned her back towards me and stood facing the window and told me to leave and never contact her again and walk out of her life. I was not ready to give up on her yet. I reached in my pocket and took the diamond ring which I had bought for her and I got down on my knees. I told her Michelle I would walk out of that door right now but just for once turn and look towards me and just let me see your once more before I leave. As she turned towards me and saw me kneeling there for a minute she was shocked.  I said to her,”Michelle, I want you to punish me for the rest of my life for playing that prank on you and I would devote rest of my life to make sure that you always smile. For as long as I live to make you happy and I want this punishment as I would move heaven and earth to give you what you ask your every demand would be a command for me your majesty because you are the queen of my heart. Michelle will you marry me ?”  To my surprise she said yes and but one thing that she said made me shiver and I quote, "Well, buster get ready because now we are engaged and if you pull another joke like that on me I will kill you.". When I heard this I smiled and hugged her.
 
Now it has been three years since we got married and now I am even more afraid of her because now she has range of frying pans with which she can bang me over my head and range of razor sharp knives which she can use to kill me in my sleep so now I have become a tamed lion of circus really marriage does change you. Well guys let this be an example to all of you that “Hell hath no fury like scorned women" because I have experienced it firsthand.

Damini The Woman Wronged

This poem is dedicated to all those women who have been victims of rape and other form of abuses

She was her mother’s heart,
She was her father’s life,
born she was a innocent child,
her eyes full of brightness.
She grew up in a strong child,
Rushed to greet her father,
When he came back after a hard day’s work,
He used to scoop her in his arms,
She gave him a sweet peck on his cheeks.
 
She was full of life,
Running with naked feet on green grass,
Like a wild horse in his prime,
She played with her dolls,
Unaware of the world outside,
Unaware of the evils outside,
Unaware of the conspiracy of three sisters.
 
The day was her birthday,
When her beloved asked her handed in marriage,
She was happy,
Nothing more she could have asked,
Than for this,
Her dreams were coming true,
Her heart danced with joy,
The reflection of diamond seen in her eyes,
But as they say,
Every good thing must come to an end.
In one night her world was ripped apart,
As the six monsters attacked her,
She begged them to let her go,
They just laughed at her,
The lust reflected in their eyes,
They slapped her hard,
Tears rolled down from her eyes,
For no one had ever hit her,
They ripped her clothes off,
Her dignity torn apart in half like a paper.
 
Too weak to fight her aggressors,
She laid their silently,
As they abused her,
Tears rolling down from her eyes,
All the time wondering,
For what sin is the god punishing her.
Her tormentors threw on side of road,
Laughing at her,
They left her there die.
 
The once bright eyes,
Now were blank,
The shine gone from them,
As she laid their battered and bruised,
With people going by,
No one came to her rescue.
The help came too late,
As she had died.
Her father could not believe,
That the child he loved more than life,
The twinkle of his eyes,
is gone forever,
he held back his tears,
to be strong for her mother,
as she cried in his arms,
asking,” What had she done to deserve such cruel fate ?”
her father could not answer her,
as words refused to come to his lips.
 
In one night a thousand dreams died,
Somewhere far away a star died,
Somewhere evil triumphed over good,
The stone statue in temple could not protect her,
It was the night when the wolves roamed freely,
The protectors afraid for their lives,
Shunned their duties,
A life was lost,
A candle was extinguished,
That night, when Damini died.